There is no statute of limitations on grief or healing. Meghan Markel, Duchess of Essex, revealed yesterday, November 25, that she suffered a miscarriage in July. This was Meghan and Prince Harry’s second pregnancy and as they have been grieving, their families have been surrounding them with support.
Sources have said, “[Prince] Charles has been supporting Harry and Meghan during their time of grief. There is a great sadness around the royal family for Harry and Meghan.”
Meghan, the former Suits actress, was exceptionally candid in her editorial with The New York Times as she described her ordeal. “After changing [her son Archie’s] diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, […], that I was losing my second.”
While hospitalized Meghan recounts her experience. She held her husband’s hand, “I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over.” Meghan’s thoughts at that moment were centered around “[trying] to imagine how we’d heal.”
Words quite literally fail us when describing the loss of a child. There is no word for a parent that loses a child. When this happens that person has to continue being a parent even though they no longer have their child. Markel hopes that by sharing their pain that she and Harry can begin to heal. She wrote about the first real steps she took toward healing when she was in the hospital. She looked at her heartbroken husband and asked, “Are you OK?”
Markel continued saying, “Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, […]. We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us.”
A Shared Pain
Markel and Harry have been lauded for being honest about their experience and grief. Meghan correctly states, “[Miscarriage is] experienced by many but talked about by a few.” However, the stigma against discussing miscarriages has been changing. Many celebrities have come forward this year and shared their personal losses.
James and Kimberly Van Der Beek are two of the most open about the miscarriages they have experienced. Maybe the candle of hope is knowing that through all the heartbreak they are not alone. By sharing the weight of grief; the burden becomes just a little lighter.
Earl Charles Spencer, Harry’s uncle, said “[H]is thoughts are with them. I can’t imagine the agony for any couple losing a child in this way and it’s so very, very sad.”
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