‘7 Little Johnstons: The RV Adventure Gets a Little Ripe and Raunchy

7 Little Johnstons Instagram

At the end of last week’s 7 Little Johnstons, Trent and Amber proposed the idea of taking an RV road trip up the Pacific Coast Highway before reaching their San Francisco hotel for the Little People of America annual convention.  Amber is a California girl, and she wanted to share some of her youthful experiences with Elizabeth, Jonah, Emma, Anna, and Alex, hoping to create memories between the miles.

The kids were predictably not over-enthused by the proposal of a 7 Little Johnstons chronicle of real-life on the road.  As long as it got everyone to the carpeted, spacious, and air-conditioned hotel in the City by the Bay, they were okay with “roughing it” for a few hundred miles.  In seven seasons, it has never been necessary to use a “censored” sign on the family-friendly reality TV show on this loving family.  In this week’s May 5 episode, “If This RV’s A- Rockin’,” some sights and smells are too much for the typical family audience.

The 7 Little Johnstons get all the sand, surf, and chewing gum they can stand, and the most private place in the RV is the center of attention.

Trent insists that toilet rules take priority on the ‘7 Little Johnstons’

Even before the 7 Little Johnstons dad installs the pedal extenders on the driver’s side of the RV, Trent Johnston sets the rules for toilet etiquette.   The first mandatory requirement is that only “number one” is allowed in the onboard bathroom.  Any other bodily function requires a rest stop or waiting for the RV park.

Just a mention of the subject starts and instantaneous discussion over who in the family will be guilty of breaking the rules.  “I do p**p a lot,” Emma sweetly admits, while the other siblings are quick to point fingers.

Jonah is drafted for the unenviable duty of helping dad empty the sewage line.  It’s clear that many more that one family has contributed deposits.  During a funny interview exchange, Jonah asks out loud, “Why do we talk about this so much?”  “Because we’re the Johnston”s,” comes the answer.  Only the 7 Little Johnstons make every situation something to laugh about and remember.  By the end of the trip, Alex said that the toilet was his favorite part of the RV experience.

Meeting folks, crashing dates, and wads of gum

The 7 Little Johnstons made it all the way to San Luis Obispo on their first day.  Distractify focused on how busy Amber Johnston stays in a May 5 feature, so this trip was a much-needed distraction for her.  The family met up with a few waiting relatives and took in their first views of the beach.   When the brood decided to hit the bunks for the night, they found out how crowded RV snoozing can be.

Trent couldn’t resist playfully rocking his and Amber’s sleeping quarters, just to stir up the kids.  A little further down the road, when the family wanted to take a portrait keepsake after climbing some sizable dunes,  they spotted a couple “going way past third base” as Trent put it.  A “CENSORED” label went across the screen, and Trent used a certain word referring to male anatomy that Emma questioned him about.  This was probably the first censor flag in the 7 Little Johnstons entire TLC run.  Well, at least the family can say they gave them something to do.

Amber Johnston had fond memories of Bubblegum Alley, but the kids were underwhelmed again.  Mom is right, however, that they will recall these memories for years to come.  Always wanting to go bigger and better, Trent tried to take on a whole “rope” of bubblegum. He almost choked himself, but he did get the biggest piece on the wall.  Emma was expecting a colorful display like a candy store, instead, it was “black and purple” as Anna described.

7 Little Johnstons’ shred the surf

The big, brave souls of the 7 Little Johnstons enrolled in surf lessons for the last part of the episode.  Surfing actually seemed like the perfect sport for the family.  They were lightning-quick and going from flat on their tummies to standing.  The hardest part for Alex was just getting into his wetsuit, but the instructor was beyond patient.

Alex was thrilled to try his luck on the board.  Every time he tried a sideways move to get stability, a wave would wipe him out.  7 Little Johnstons fans had to be worried when they saw the spirited son walking in tears to his mother on the beach.

Because of the tubes in his ears, the saltwater collection in the ear canal is excruciating.  Fortunately, what started to look like an ER trip turned out to be okay after 30 minutes of getting the ear to drain.

Trent Johnston HATES even his face to get wet but he enjoyed his day of surf.  He was so thrilled that he wanted Amber to call him “The Big Kahuna” instead of “Big Daddy.” She declined.   Despite Alex’s rough day, the other kids loved surfing and did it again and again.  “It’s addictive,” Elizabeth admitted.  The 7 Little Johnstons met another challenge and made it fun.

It’s safety first before LPA fun

For Trent, the true win was driving the curvy PCH for the first time, and doing it in an RV.  “I’d rather get the right side scratched up then get the left side wet.” he conceded.  Thank goodness, this was not “ride and die” as he teased.

Next week, the fun that the family has been waiting for at the LPA event begins. Romance may be in the air for more than one of the 7 Little Johnstons.  “You feel closer to the people you know from the LPA than you do to people you see every day,” Amber asserts.  It’s sure to be fun and filled with surprises for the family and everyone watching.  Emma can’t wait to see Luka again.

7 Little Johnstons airs Tuesday on TLC at 10/9c.

Tresa Patterson

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